Dear Aunt Mabel: My wife has left me for another woman!

"Dear Aunt Mabel, my wife of 3yrs sat me down a few weeks ago and told me she had been having an affair. I had suspected something was up but was shocked to discover it was with another woman! Thankfully we don't have children yet but I just don't know what to do or how I should react. Help!"

Oh, my dear, I’m wrapping you in the biggest, warmest virtual hug right now. Having your wife leave for another person—man, woman, or interstellar alien—is a gut-punch that can leave you reeling, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Let’s navigate this heartbreak together with kindness, a dash of humor to lighten the load, and some practical steps to help you find your footing.

First, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: this hurts like nobody’s business. Your world’s been turned upside down, and it’s okay to feel a whirlwind of emotions—sadness, confusion, maybe even a bit of “did I miss a memo?” It’s all normal. Give yourself permission to grieve the life you thought you’d have. Cry into a bowl of ice cream, punch a pillow, or binge that guilty-pleasure show (I won’t judge if it’s reality TV). But here’s the golden rule: be gentle with yourself. You’re not “less than” because of this, and your worth isn’t tied to someone else’s choices.

Now, about the “another woman” part—let’s keep this real. Love is a wild, unpredictable creature, and sometimes it takes people in directions you didn’t see coming. This isn’t a reflection of your masculinity, your charm, or your ability to pick the best date-night restaurants. It’s just a plot twist in your story. Try not to get stuck on the “why” of her choice (easier said than done, I know). Instead, focus on what you can control: how you heal and move forward.

So, what’s next? Start with small, grounding steps. Lean on your people—friends, family, or that one relative who always knows how to make you laugh. Spill your heart out over a beer or a coffee; connection is medicine. If talking to mates feels too raw, consider a therapist or counselor—they’re like emotional tour guides for life’s rough patches. And if you’re tempted to send your ex a 3 a.m. “why?!” text, write it in your notes app instead. Trust me, future you will thank you.

Let’s sprinkle in a little humor here: picture yourself as the star of a rom-com montage. Right now, you’re in the “sad acoustic song” phase, but soon you’ll hit the part where you rediscover your swagger. Maybe you’ll take up cooking (burnt toast counts!), join a hiking group, or finally learn to play that guitar gathering dust in the corner. The goal isn’t to “replace” your wife but to rediscover you—the awesome guy who’s still got plenty of spark.

As for your ex, it’s natural to want closure or answers, but you might not get them, and that’s okay. Resist the urge to compare yourself to her new partner (no one wins in that mental cage match). If you share logistics like a home, finances, or a pet goldfish, keep communication polite and businesslike—think “cordial email to a coworker” vibes. Over time, the sting will fade, and you’ll find neutrality feels like freedom.

One last thing: love isn’t done with you, even if it feels like it’s taken a vacation. This chapter closed, but there’s a whole lot of story left. You’re allowed to feel hopeful about future love—whether it’s with a woman, a man, or a really great cat (kidding… mostly). For now, focus on being your own best company. Treat yourself to something silly, like a fancy coffee or a solo movie date. You’re worth it.

You’re stronger than you know, Heart in a Tangle, and I’m cheering you on as you step into this new, uncharted adventure. You’ve got this, one brave, messy, beautiful day at a time.

With all my love,

Aunt Mabel