Dear Aunt Mabel; My new work colleagues are talking about me behind my back

Dear Aunt Mabel, I have recently started a new job but I can’t help but feel that colleagues are talking about me behind my back, last week I walked into the staff room and a couple of them just stopped talking and look right at me, am I being paronoid or should I do something about it, and if so, what?

Oh, bless your heart, starting a new job is like stepping into a sitcom where everyone else already knows the script! That staff room moment—colleagues freezing mid-chat and staring—must’ve felt like you’d wandered into a secret club meeting. It’s no wonder you’re wondering if they’re gossiping about you or if your Spidey senses are just tingling too hard. Let’s unpack this and figure out a plan, shall we?

First off, you’re not necessarily paranoid. Our brains are wired to notice when social vibes shift, and that awkward silence was a neon sign. But here’s the tea: it might not be about you at all. They could’ve been gossiping about the boss’s new haircut, a dodgy printer, or who nicked the good biscuits. Still, it stings to feel like the odd one out, so let’s get you laughing through this with a few cheeky moves:

1. Play the long game: You’re the new kid on the block, and it takes time for the gang to stop side-eyeing the newbie. Keep slaying at your job, flash a grin, and let your awesome personality shine. Most cliques loosen up once they see you’re not here to steal their staplers.

2. Be a vibe detective: Was this a one-time freeze-frame, or is it a daily episode of Silent Stares? Jot down when it happens and who’s involved (no need for a full-on conspiracy board, mind!). If it’s just occasional, it’s probably nothing. If it’s constant, we’ll up our game.

3. Crash their awkward party: Next time you walk in and the room goes quiet, toss out a playful, “What, were you lot planning my surprise party already?” with a wink. It’s like tossing a glitter bomb—it breaks the tension, shows you’re not fussed, and might even get a laugh. Laughter’s the best clique-buster.

4. Make your own crew: Start small—chat up a colleague over lunch, ask someone about their weekend, or bond over hating the office coffee. One friendly face can make the staff room feel less like a lion’s den. Plus, people are less likely to whisper about someone they actually know.

5. Bring out the big guns (gently): If the silent treatment keeps up and it’s proper messing with your head, time for a sneaky countermove. Have a quiet word with a colleague you vibe with or your manager. Keep it light: “I’m loving the job but feeling a bit out of the loop—any tips for settling in?” That way, you’re not accusing anyone, just asking for a hand.

Here’s the deal: you’re probably overthinking this (we’ve all been there, love), but that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. Workplaces can be like high school cafeterias sometimes, full of silly cliques and weird vibes. Keep being your fabulous self, crack a few jokes, and soon enough, they’ll be begging you to join their biscuit-stealing schemes. You’ve got this!

With a big hug and a cuppa,

Aunt Mabel