What to do when someone dies: New resources aimed at grieving loved ones

Two Bristol-based organisations have come together to create new resources aimed at helping people know what to do when someone dies.

North Bristol NHS Trust and Bristol Memorial Woodland Trust, alongside health psychologist Mireille Hayden, have produced two booklets, ‘Guide to End-of-Life Planning’ and ‘When Someone Dies’, which are available now for the public and healthcare professionals, and provide invaluable advice.

The guides are free to anyone who is facing the prospect of losing a loved one or who wants to set out their own end of life wishes.

Mireille developed the resources at a time when her partner Colin was suddenly diagnosed with leukaemia. Her world changed overnight and after a whirlwind treatment journey and recovery, Mireille has channelled that experience into the two powerful booklets, to help others facing death - whether their own or someone they love.

Mireille received the news of Colin’s prognosis just two weeks after being approached by Bristol Memorial Woodland Trust to write the help guides.

“I remember us sitting on the sofa on a call with a consultant,” Mireille shares. “Because of my profession, I’m used to end-of-life conversations, so I asked, ‘What happens if we do nothing?’ And he said, ‘Then Colin has three months to live.’”

The couple had only been together for 18 months when Colin - retired lawyer turned psychotherapist - fell suddenly ill. From a romantic Valentine’s getaway to a stem cell transplant within weeks, their lives were upended. Through isolation, intensive chemotherapy, sepsis, and terrifying uncertainty, Mireille continued her work in bereavement care while quietly beginning to write - initially just for him.

“When I started writing the booklets, I wasn’t using my professional brain,” she says. “It was me talking to him - ‘my love, what are the things we need to know?’”

The result is a pair of deeply empathetic, practical guides. The end-of-life planning booklet helps individuals consider their wishes, care plans, and legal matters to make life easier for their loved ones when the time comes.

The guide on what to do when someone dies walks families through the steps they’ll face in the immediate aftermath of a death - administratively and emotionally.

“A large part of writing the booklets was making them digestible and not overwhelming. I wanted it to be bite-sized, with diagrams to explain the big legal stuff. I encourage people to take things a step at a time and just do what is manageable.”

Colin, now recovering after a successful stem cell transplant from his brother, remains immune-compromised but stable.

“We’ve come through a dire situation and appreciate the smallest things now - tea and cake, cooking, walking the dogs. These booklets wouldn’t be what they are without that experience. The language is from the heart. It’s me talking to him.”

Feedback from both professionals and bereaved families has been overwhelmingly positive.

“To hear that the writing is sensitive and comforting, that’s the greatest compliment. I feel very proud of what has come out of something so painful.”

Mireille Hayden is a specialist in holistic end-of-life care, with a background in supporting people through death, dying, and bereavement.

She works closely with Bristol Memorial Woodland Trust, a registered charity with the aim of creating and preserving woodland areas for public benefit. It currently holds or manages 100-acres of land in South Gloucestershire that is being transformed into public parkland, open to all and protected for the enjoyment and benefit of future generations.

End-of-life planning is an important topic for the Trust, which is encouraging people to talk about their wishes and put plans in place before death.

For more information or to access the ‘Guide to End-of-Life Planning’ and ‘When Someone Dies’ booklets visit Homepage - Bristol Memorial Woodland Trust